Poet, Monster, Hero
by WayWard Childe
Summary: Three glimpses into Spike’s life, from Poet to Monster to Hero.


**Title: Poet, Monster, Hero.**

**Disclaimer: Joss Owns Spike, Angel and Anne. I don't. If I did, Spike the series. NOT PROOFREAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**Spoilers: Angel Season Five.**

.::Poet::.

A fifteen-year-old William is sitting on the edge of his bed, silent tears cascading his cheeks, crumbled up pieces of paper lay in the corner of his room. A sad looking Anne stood as his doorway.

"William, my dear, are you alright?"

William quickly wiped his tears and put on his glasses. "Oh hello Mother I didn't see you standing there. I'm quite alright, thank you for asking."

Anne started to walk into the room, "William." Her voice full of concern.

William put on a fake smile, "Oh it's just some good nature ribbing I assure you mother."

Anne put a hand on William's shoulder, "William."

William's face suddenly became so sad, Anne wanted nothing more then to gather him into her arms and never let go.

"I don't know why I let them hurt me so, it's only words."

"To a poet words are everything, William. And to a good man with a kind heart, words can be most damaging."

William nodded and gave her a small smile, trying to reassure her. She gave him a sad smile in return, kissed his cheek, and then quietly exited the room.

When his mother was far away, William rose from his bed and stood in front of his mirror. While tracing the outlines of his face on the mirror, William said.

"One day, we'll show them all won't we?" He said with what he thought to be a confident smile. A little girl came bouncing into his room.

"William! William, come read to me." She pleaded.

William smiled down at his little sister, "And what would you like me to read tonight, Mary?"

"You're poetry, it's always so pretty." The five-year said with a big smile.

"Yeah? Well it' not as pretty as you, Nibblet." He said as he started tickling her sides. Anne smiled as she heard the giddy laughter fill the house. 'If only they knew what you've already shown them is precious.' She thought.

.::Monster::.

With blood stained hands he traced what he thought to be the outlines of his face. 'Hard to tell without my reflection' He thought. He killed them all, all the ones he thought of as friends. 'Friends.' He snorted to himself. All the ones who'd laughed at him and made him feel weak, even the ones who were nice to him he killed. He drove railroad spikes through their skulls like his mother would stick a pen into a cushion. 'So easy.' He thought, even bone broke like twigs beneath his power. 'Shame I couldn't find Cicely. Wouldn't she of been a ripe peach.' He thinks with a wolfish grin. He grows hard as he thinks about fucking her while he impales a railroad spike into side over and over again. She would cry his name in both ecstasy and horror as she came and died simultaneously. But she wasn't there, 'Maybe another day.' He thought with a happy grin. He then focuses solemnly at the mirror, staring intently for something he's glad to be rid of.

"I don't see you." His words were dark and clam as he traces invisible faces on the mirror.

"I don't need you. You and your words and humility. You weak sodding son of a bitch! I'm glad you're gone!" He was yelling now and soon punched the mirror, mesmerized as he saw it fall. He soon started to tear into the furniture, ripping fabric and breaking chairs, tables, desks. In all of the commotion William felt himself get tackled down to the ground by a stronger heavier force.

"What are ye doing, William?" Angelus said with a heavy Irish accent.

Instead of getting an answer, Angelus was surprised to find an elbow to his face. They were both standing now and before Angelus could get a grip of his surroundings he was punched in the face again. Angelus rocked back but didn't fall. He unconsciously wiped the blood from his mouth.

"I'll let that slide, Willy. Now tell me what the noise is about!" He demanded.

"The names Spike." All traces of Spike's former upper class accent gone. Spike went over to pick up a long brown coat, a new confidence and swagger in his step. As put the coat on he said.

"And I answer to no one." He said a bit coldly before pushing past Angelus and walking out the door.

Angelus grinned at the door Spike just exited from. "Well won't he be a fun one to break."

"And if you can't?" Darla said as she entered the room, weaving through the broken furniture. Angelus turned towards her and snaked his left arm around her waist, his right gripped the back of her head.

"Well if _I_ can't break him, that's even better for _us_." He said right before he smashed his mouth into hers.

.::Hero::.

Bruises still marred his face from his fight with Angel earlier. He wonders what he looks and if it even matters anymore. Without a reflection to see, without seeing yourself it's so easy to do horrible things. So easy to do good things and not appreciate them, just because you can't see yourself. He raised his hand to the bars bathroom mirror and once again traced invisible faces. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he stopped and backed away from the mirror, his raised hand pointing at the mirror now. His head tilted to the side as a look of understanding crosses his face.

"Don't need to see you anymore." Images filtered through his minds eye. Fire. A cup. A Texan brunette with a cheery smile. "I don't see either of you anymore." His hand dropped as an image of a blood stained Victorian and young poet appeared in the mirror. "I know who I am." As the words died on his lips, the images disappeared from the mirror, leaving Spike with nothing to gaze at. Spike walked out of the bathroom, dropped his money on the bar and left.

Rain was coming, Spike could feel it as he walked through the busy streets of L.A.; filled with people who go on, not noticing the world and things around them. Suddenly a small screamed filled the air, and Spike looked in every direction trying to figure out where it came from. 'Do they hear that and just ignore it?' Spike wondered as he looked around some more. The scream was heard again and this time he caught the direction. Spike bolted to the source of the scream hoping to get there in time. Spike found himself in an alley where a vamp was hovering over something, he wasn't quite sure what. Spike quickly got into a quarrel with vamp. It wasn't a hard fight, the vamp was young and stupid, and soon there was nothing but dust.

Spike looked around to see what the vampire was going after, and then he eyes finally laid on a scared little girl.

"Hey" His voice was soft, "It's safe, no ones going to hurt you now." He said as he reached out his arms. The girl seemed nervous at first, but soon bolted into arms. He picked her and held her tight, "It's ok, Nibblet. Lets go find your parents." She mumbled where her parents were and he started walking towards the restaurant across the street.

Standing on the building above Spike was Angel with a grim look on his face. "Sometimes your so annoying and infuriating, I wish I could of broken you or staked you." A light drizzle started to fall and Angel shook his head slowly as a small grin appeared on his face. "And then there are other days, when I'm glad I wasn't strong enough."

-End


End file.
